Self-care

When I first started talking publicly about my divorce, I would get these two questions over and over:

“Are you keeping the house?”

“What are you doing to take care of yourself?”

The answer to the first question was easy. It took me about a year to figure out the answer to the second question.

Being married with kids and a full-time job left me little time to breathe. (That’s not to say stay-at-home parents have it any easier. My hats off to those to stay at home with their babies. In many ways, I think it’s a much harder path.) I would set my alarm for as early as 3:30a to make sure I got enough work done so I could pick up the kiddos after school, make dinner, and be present in the evenings. Though, one could argue how “present” I was while operating on less than five hours of sleep at night.

So, last summer I made a list of things I would do to take care of myself. And I promised myself I would cross everything off that list before my 40^th birthday.

Here’s the list:

Oh, the places I will go: Banff, Maui, and Mexico;

Do at least one three-hour hike or outdoor activity a month;

Sleep an average of 7 hours a night each week; and

Get in to graduate school (To be fair, this one has been on my list for about 10 years. I hope to report on my progress very soon.)

I started last Labor Day weekend with a trip to Banff and I’ve been a different person ever since. I plan to spend some time on this platform documenting my adventures (in case you all are interested).

You know what I’ve noticed in the last few months? … People no longer ask me how or if I’m taking care of myself … because it’s obvious. Instead, many say: “divorce looks good on you, my friend.”

I have eight months to go before my list is complete! Anything I should add?