“Do I make her proud?”
“She watches your every move.” That’s what a friend said to me after meeting Lola for the first time.
It was a few years ago. Lola was six at the time. The four of us (mom, dad, and two kids) were at a dinner with two of my friends. Lola was sitting at the other end of the table and every time I looked down the table at her, I noticed that she was staring directly at my mouth – taking in my every word. I would smile at her and remember to be on my best behavior.
When the kids left the table to watch a movie, one of my friends commented on how much she pays attention to me. She could have been staring at any of the other adults at the table. She could have been playing with Lewis. Instead, she spent the entire meal watching me. News of her watching my every move was not new to me because she does it all the time. She takes note of what I wear, how I put on my makeup in the mornings, the things I say, who my friends are, etc.
So when her dad and I split up, I made one promise to myself: twenty years from now, when Lola’s describing this period of her life to her friends – she will be proud of me.
Remember that scene at the end of the “Sixth Sense”? There’s a scene where the kid says he has the answer to the question his mom quietly asks the grandmother whenever they visit her grave. The question was, “Do I make her proud?” The kid tells his mom that the grandmother’s answer is, “Every day.”
I often lay in bed at night and quietly ask myself that same question. I know these years of her life will help determine what kind of woman she will strive to become. Having that pressure on my shoulders is an awesome responsibility. I feel blessed to be the one Lola watches, and I hope to make her proud.
Toya
7 Comments
Janice Davis
As your mother Toya, I’m very proud of you
Carol Tademy
You are and always have been amazing! You are smart, strong, and successful, and has always known exactly what you want. Lola and Lewis are very blessed.
Grace
Precious.
Nana Flack
Yes you make her Proud, Your are a strong and Loving woman and a mama bear to Lola and Lewis. Can’t wait to see what the future holds for you all.
Lynn Gandolfi
I marvel at your strength everyday. You are jaw droppingly Awesome.
………….and yes, I made up the word “droppingly”.
Kimberly W
This is beautiful!!! You have always been AMAZING and made everyone PROUD! You just have two little forever best friends to share it with now! You are a GREAT MOMMY and Lola and Lewis have a marvelous person to be PROUD of! Love you so much! 😘
Mary Turina
Lola and Lewis are so lucky to have you as Mom! I am proud to work with you and learn from you!